Two entwined lives piecing themselves apart

I’ve never felt so openly needy
wanting you to burn after me 
the way I’m burning after you, insecurely
grasping at straw-colored hair and forcing myself inside you
because he forced me outside of me

Where is it that I exist now, this deterioration
has come on so slowly
a dawdling leaden entropy
of ons and offs, a blinking transmission
losing tiny pieces with each circulation

This mass under my ear playing manifestation
of dreams and desires in subtle starvation
not intrinsically cancerous or benign
just giving up ghosts one at a time
forcing my ears to shut and my eyes to blur
my palate to crave brine just to feel sure
a creeping oxidization of the senses
overtaking these plumbean ambitions
fatiguing and tarnishing from exposure
to cycles of nothing in particular